Perspective

My heart is full of love and joy right now.  Nothing huge happened today, but after the kids went to bed I watched Little Women and then decided to look through the pictures I posted a couple of days ago.  It's difficult to explain the love I have for my kids.  They get to me during the day sometimes and I can get a little uptight with things that go on, like Donovan scratching the back of my van this morning because he lowered the garage door while the back door of the van was still open.  I was so upset about it and told him that it is no longer his job until he is old enough to pay attention.  And it won't be his job again for a while, but the fact that he sat in the car when it was time to go to the grocery store this afternoon and said to me, when I climbed in and pushed the garage door opener, "See, I didnt push it mom," made me feel a little guilty for getting so angry about it.  He really is a good boy.  As distracted as he can get sometimes, I wouldn't change him or his personality for anything.  He is such a sweet, good boy.  I look through the pictures of them smiling and it melts my heart.  I just want to hug them and smother them with kisses.  Little Chamae is a little sweetheart as well, even though it's mixed with quite a bit more sass than her brother.  I say, "I love you," and she blows me a kiss.  If I ask for a kiss, she'll either pucker up, or say, "No."  She's still polite about it.  She has been really snuggly since she ruptured her ear drum last Friday.  Thankfully Dr Jones' office was still open and they let us in for a last minute appointment before they left for the day.  I didn't even know the poor thing had an ear infection until bloody pus was coming out of her ear after a nap.  She has been pretty good about taking the nasty Amoxicillin and has been clinging to me quite a bit.  She gets even more clingy when Brad is out of town, and he'll be gone until Saturday, but she gives the best loves so it's usually not hard to hold and hug her.  Anyway, I love my kids, and looking through those pictures this evening made me realize what's truly important and what my job is all about.  It's not about how flawless my minivan looks.  It's about teaching them and loving them and enjoying the little moments together.  I want to be less uptight so I can enjoy them more.  I'm going to work on that tomorrow.  I won't even worry about Chamae looking like a boy if I don't get her hair up in pigtails before we go out the door.