How did our parents have 6 kids?! I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I don't remember feeling neglected, I think my parents did their best to spend time with each of us. There were some days when we drove my mom to tears, I still remember one occasion when Nicholas and I were being pretty awful and my mom locked herself in her room and we could hear her crying (sorry mom, I hope that doesn't embarrass you). We were a handful, I know that much. I'm surprised we didn't drive her to tears every day. I really don't know how she did it! I don't know too much about how the Silvey kids were growing up, but I do know Brad was a handful, especially when he teamed up with his brother, Nate. Really, how did you guys do it?! I have a hard time seeing myself having more than 2 kids. I barely handle one without going a little crazy some days. Brad made the comment last night, "I'm not sure I'm ready for this yet" (meaning having baby #2). I have to admit, I feel the same way. I told him that and told him it might just be the last time!! Does it make me a selfish person to only want 2 kids? I feel a little selfish about it sometimes, but at the same time, I'm a big believer in only having as many kids as you can handle and take care of. Not just financially, but emotionally as well and I'm not sure I can handle more than 2 emotionally. I'm a natural at being pregnant, but I don't feel like a natural mother. They have enough cousins that they shouldn't miss out too much on siblings...right?! I probably sound like a total brat right now, but this is what I have been thinking about lately. Don't get me wrong, I'm getting really excited about having our little girl and I know Brad is too, we're just a little nervous about it all. We've gone through so many stages with Donovan and now we're starting it all over again! Anyway, Donovan is getting super excited for his little sister to get here. He tells everyone that the baby is coming after Christmas. He also knows that Thanksgiving is next, and then we'll get ready for Christmas. He's all about decorations. He points out all of the Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations he sees and he knows we'll be putting up our Christmas decorations after Thanksgiving. We talk a lot about what is going to happen when his sister gets here so I'm hoping it all goes smoothly and he adjusts well! He's already a really good helper when Addi is over here, so it will be fun to see how sweet he is with his own little sister. Right now we're just trying to make it all the way to the due date! We don't want a Christmas baby and Brad will be out of town from Dec 3-12 recruiting so she can't come early! I would be okay with a New Year's baby, a day early wouldn't be bad. Anyway, there's my rant for the day.
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6 comments:
i think it is totally normal to feel this way! i feel like it almost every day. there are some days that i just feel overwhelmed all day long. kids are hard work! i can only think about 2 right now, but maybe in a couple years when they are a little older i'll want more kids. who knows? you're a great mom though, i know you can do it!
Yes, thank you, I'm not the only one!!! When I just had ONE kid, he would bring me to tears of utter frustration. I had to give myself timeouts in the bedroom all the time when I was pregnant with baby #2. And it took a lot of guts for us to even have a second child, ha ha! But, seriously, we feel happy and comfortable with two as well - and we have our hands full. I look at these huge families and am sometimes envious wishing I had it in me to have a lot of kids and have a big family, but then I realize, too, that I feel like a single mom most of the time, juggling all of our household repairs, bill-paying, kids, errands, cleaning, meal-prep, yardwork, etc by myself. Every situation is so unique, and I think we have a lot more challenges with time management than generations before us. We just have too much to juggle in too little time! I'm so glad I'm not alone in feeling the way you do. Maybe some day we'll venture out and have baby #3, but for now two seems like a lot. With more than two, you're definitely outnumbered!
P.S. In regards to the comment on our blog, we also love While You Were Sleeping and watch it every Christmas season! I'm totally watching it tonight.
Sometimes I wonder, too. I know your mom feels like she failed in so many ways, but she's been a great mother. I couldn't be more proud of all my kids (and grandkids). A little more motivation in a few areas wouldn't hurt some of them... About all we can do is make choices based on what we know and experience and do the best we can with those choices. Sometimes we might even learn from others' experiences. That's why I've always said there's no hurry and you don't need to do things for other people. Weigh your options and do what you feel best for your family. No need for any guilt or worry.
the feelings you are having are so normal! It really is a hard demanding job to be a mom and you are not selfish to think that this might be your last and that 2 is enough for you. Everyone has the choice to make for them self how many kids they will have. I think once you are done you will know and there will be no doubt so for now you just focus on the cute little guy you have right now and when baby girl comes go from there! But you are normal so normal!
I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You are a good mom and i'm glad that having babies isn't miserable for you. You have to do what you and Bradley feel good about- no guilt, no worries about what others may or may not think. Also, you have adorable babies! I made my share of mistakes with raising kids, definitely cried and left the room when I was so frustrated I was afraid I would hurt them, or myself. Lots of prayer and good examples of friends get ya through. I know my kids have made good choices and I'm so proud of them. Now, if we can get Scotty through......
I feel like I could've written this post ... except for the part about being good with pregnancy. I hate it... and I don't feel like I am a natural mother. I really have to work at it and most days I feel like I've failed in some way. I just don't know how I could handle more than two kids. I completely agree with you about being able to take care of your kids emotionally being very important. I think a lot of people don't realize how hard it can be! Don't feel bad! It's actually really nice for me to know I'm not the only one who feels like this, so I really appreciate you sharing it.
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