If you know my Grandma (dad's mom), you know she can overreact to things and to say she's a worrier would be an extreme understatement. I don't think I'm as bad as she is, but I do have a little of her anxiety when it comes to worrying about Donovan. I worry myself to the point where I have nightmares of him getting kidnapped and other horrible things like that. You can ask Brad, I'm ridiculous. I'm always thinking of worst case scenarios, I try not to, it just happens, my mind wanders. So keeping this in mind, imagine how I felt today at Wal-Mart when Donovan took off on me and disappeared. I saw the direction he went and ran after him but didn't see him. I spent the next few minutes panicking (while thinking of worst case scenarios of course), running in all directions, and holding back tears. I asked a few people to keep an eye out for him in my shaky voice and finally had someone point me in the right direction. He had run back to the place he had disappeared and was stopped by a guy that used to be in our ward who must have seen me running around like a mad woman. When I saw the little stinker I ran and picked him up. I don't think I've ever held him so tight! As soon as the guy asked if I was okay, I started bawling. If you know me well at all, you know I don't cry in front of people so I was completely mortified and just said I was fine through my blubbering. I was shaking the rest of the time at the store and on the way home. Donovan just looked at me, smiled, and helped me wipe away my tears. I was so grateful he was okay that I couldn't get mad at him. I know I should have so he would understand why he can't run away like that, but I honestly couldn't let go of him, I could only hug him and hyperventilate. I try not to be a helicopter mom, but I don't ever want him to be out of my sight! Unless he's with someone I trust, I worry. I guess that's one reason why I don't mind teaching Sunbeams, he's right next door! Anyway, that was my scariest parenting moment so far. I'm sure there will be plenty more. McRae was always getting lost and wandering off and from what I've heard, so was Bradley. Great. I'm going to have a heart attack before I'm 30.
Monday, March 22, 2010
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8 comments:
I totally can relate to your experience. Yes, Bradley was always a wanderer and probably still has that tendency. I hope you did take time to tell Donovan why you were crying and so upset. Even if you don't punish him he needs to know it's wrong and scary.
My mom used to dress Ethan in overalls and then strap a leash to the back of them so he couldn't run off. But she had 5 kids under 6 and he was a stinker who liked to run. When Colin sees me crying it makes him laugh because there is water on my face. He likes to play with the tears too.
I'm right there with you on the worst-case-scenario thing. I was crying to Justin the other night because Sarah would only eat marshmallows and I thought for sure she was going to whither up. And I'm paranoid of autism, bowleggedness, 1st degree burns...I could go on and on.
I would have been bawling from the min I lost them! I am so glad you found him all safe and sound... so so scary hope that never happens again!
oh i hate that feeling its the worst! my oldest son was the worst for that, he would just disappear! it scared me to death to leave him with anyone because thay didn't believe me about how bad he was and wouldn't watch him as well. i'm am a total worrier, i can get myself all sort of wound up if i let my mind wander. i'm glad it all turned out well!
I am sure we both inherited the worrying gene from Grandma... and I have just gotten worse since Maddox has been born. I worry about everything that could possibly go wrong. It just helps to think what I would do in certain situations, like if someone broke into the house what would I do with Maddox (I know, it's overthinking things). Anyway, I feel your pain.
And I'm so glad he ended up ok. I saw your status on facebook and was thinking of you guys.
I'm definitely right there with you all and Grandma Goodman, except I cry about everything! I don't worry about many things with MaKenna, but her disappearing and not being able to find her is something I do. Very scary.
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